Shapes Mentoring Make a friend. Make a difference.

Will You Take A Stand?

Expand Your Universe Mentor A Child

It is National Mentoring Month once again! It is one time during the year when the nation focuses on the importance of mentoring and the fact that every child needs a caring adult in his or her life. We think about how much the children benefit from programs like Shapes Mentoring, Big Brothers and Big Sisters and the like. It is true that the children enrolled in these programs are receiving an incredible gift from the mentors who give the gift of time, companionship and love to their mentees.

The theme for this celebration – “Expand Your Universe Mentor A Child” reminds us that the children are not the only ones whose lives are enriched. I have been a mentor with the Shapes Mentoring Program for over five years. I can promise you that my universe has been expanded.

How you might ask? First of all, I have done things that I am quite sure I would not have done if it were not for my mentee’s request or the program’s events. I have attended Monster Truck Rallies and Car Shows. I have crawled around, over and through obstacles at a rope course. I have learned about old Ford Mustangs and why the PSP is better than the Nintendo DS. I have also listened to music that I certainly would have never listened to on my own – for better or for worse.

Another universe expansion that has occurred has been the ability I have had to look at life through another person’s perspective. It is no secret that the lives mentees have been dealt are different from my own. At age 13, my first mentee Adam, had seen and experienced things that I never have.  My current mentee’s life has not been the easiest either, but he and his family are overcoming. I often tell our mentors during training that participation in this program will take them places they have never been and they will most likely see things they have never seen. This is a good thing. We cannot turn a blind eye to the difficulties people are having around us. The more we know and understand those who are hurting the better we can be there to support them

This brings me to the final way I feel my universe has been expanded. The conversations with not only my mentees, but with other program participants as well. I have had the opportunity to talk to some of the brightest kids I have ever met as a result of the Shapes Mentoring Program. We have discussed books they have read and movies they watched. What subjects they enjoy in school and why. These are bright, talented kids with a lot of potential. They have helped me to realize that our future is brightest when we are providing a nurturing environment for our young people. Many only need to be pointed in the right direction and they have the skills and knowledge to do the rest. Others need some extra help, but it is ours to give and with it they can accomplish their dreams.

This National Mentoring Month, January 2010, I would encourage each of you, “Expand Your Universe Mentor A Child.” Allow yourself the chance to grow as you help someone else. There is no telling what you and your mentee can and will accomplish. Your universe will be a better place as a result, I can promise you that!

Overwhelmed By Season of Giving

I have to admit I was experiencing a huge let down the day after the Shapes Mentoring Christmas Party. We had worked so hard to make it a success and it was. It was better than we could have hoped for. But now that it was over, it was hard not to think – what do we do now? So much went into making it happen, it was hard to focus on anything else.

Then it hit me, this morning, while writing a thank you card to a donor. I was overwhelmed with that fact that so many people have given so much to this program. So many people stepped up over the last month to donate time, effort and money to make our Christmas party a huge success, but it did not end there. Over the course of the last year we have received so many amazing gifts of time, talents and finances. I am in awe of the way that support for the program is growing. We think of Christmas as being a season of giving, but truly this year has been an extended giving season for the Shapes Mentoring Program. I am hit by the joy and the responsibility that comes with such generosity. It is awesome that we have so many mentors enrolling and so many people blessing us with support, but that also means that we have the responsibility to use these resources wisely and make every moment of time and every penny stretch for the betterment of the program.

Right now in this moment, with Christmas on the horizon, I am opting to feel the great sense of wonder that comes from receiving so many wonderful gifts. But I assure those of you that are mentors, donors, prayers partners, potential supporters that I take very seriously that fact that you are giving your time, effort and finances to us to help us impact the children of inmates and we will work diligently to make this happen.

Thank you all again for your support. We trust you will have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.

unfriend = word of the year?

I was at home eating breakfast this morning getting ready to go into the office when one of those quick blurbs that goes across the bottom of the television screen caught my eye. It read, “Dictionary word of the year – unfriend.”

Unfriend, I thought to myself that is odd and somewhat disturbing. Upon arrival at work I logged onto my computer and promptly googled -“Dictionary adopts word of the year – unfriend.” There was a link to a CNN story about how the New Oxford American Dictionary has called “unfriend” its word of the year.

What is the definition of unfriend you might ask? “To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as facebook.”

As I am the director of The Shapes Mentoring Program, a program that is in the business of befriending people and facilitating real friendship, I find this title of “word of the year” quite disturbing one several levels. First, simply the thought that a word that depicts the destruction of a relationship is receiving such accolades is troubling to me. Secondly, the fact that for so many, relationships have been diluted into mere electronic passes in the night. Impersonal connects and disconnects have taken the place of true relationships. We no longer navigate the ebbs and flow of relationships face-to-face, we can use technology to make new friends and keep the old, or dump acquaintances and life-long friends. My wife and I experienced this first hand earlier this year and know that it provided an easy out for the one unfriending us, but was still painful for us.

As one who spends so much of his time trying to promote real and positive relationships I am fearful that a day may come when it will be impossible to experience or fathom a real relationship. Texting, facebooking, tweeting, (all fun ways to communicate) are no substitutes for real relationships with real contact.

The motto of the Shapes Mentoring Program, “Make a Friend, Make a Difference” will not work in a relationship limited to tweets and status updates. A real solid relationship requires physical, emotional and spiritual connection. It requires friction sometimes, as iron sharpens iron, it requires the shedding of tears, soaking the shoulder of that true friend who is there in a time of trial. It requires laughing so hard that it hurts as you experience an embarrassing moment for the first-time or you relive it again and again – it just never gets old.

So what is the point of this long series of words and thoughts? Well, I guess I just wanted to say, in a world that exalts the ability to electronically “unfriend” someone, let’s strive to be a person who would befriend real people in the real world and make a real difference in someone’s life.
Jeff Dorn, Program Director, Shapes Mentoring Program